Apples and Insults
by Ellethwen Celtica
Summary: Not all buds become blooming beauties, nor should everything on the dustbin be considered garbage. A bit of sparring between two unhappy teens with a permanent enmity.


**Hi! This story is exactly 1000 words long! I am so,_ so_ sorry that none of my actual stories are being updated. Please enjoy this story, as it is the first thing Dingus and Padfoot could agree on helping me out with.**

"God, you're such an irritating little _kid_. Why can't you just SHUT UP AND HEAR ME OUT? Can't you stop yelling at me for TWO SECONDS?"

"If you hate me so much, why don't you just LEAVE?"

"FINE! I WILL!" Petunia slammed the door behind her. Angry thoughts whirled in her mind as she stormed down the sidewalk, walking and thinking so furiously that she was almost dizzy. Why, _why_ couldn't Lily just listen all the way through for once? Why didn't she ever keep her mouth shut? _Why_ did she have to get stuck on one phrase and start yelling? Petunia screamed in frustration as she hit a brick wall with both of her fists.

"Wonderful," she muttered as her left hand started bleeding. The wall had been rougher in texture than it looked. And what's worse, she didn't have any bandages or anything. She _wasn't_ about to go back to the house and get some. Petunia rested her head against the wall, ready to cry from frustration. She couldn't wait until she moved out. She was sick of summer, and sick of her sister's arguments. Sick of all the adoration her stupid sister had, just because she had _magic_.

"I don't see what's so wonderful about it," a voice said quietly from behind her. She whirled to find the last person that she wanted to see right now, sitting on a rubbish bin, eating an apple. His pants were too short, his shirt too big, and there were no shoes on his feet. His hair was tied back today with a bandana, which left an ugly bruise on his cheek exposed. His expression was partly bemused, partly amused, and altogether annoying to Petunia.

"It's called sarcasm, _freak,_ you should have heard of it by now," Petunia said viciously. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Despite her biting tone, Severus Snape did not lose his slight smile. He reminded Petunia a lot of the Cheshire cat, and she almost expected him to start vanishing. She certainly wished he would. He was just as bad as her sister, though fortunately, a lot quieter.

"Me?" he said. "I just got out of the house. The yelling and shouting goes on and on, and, quite frankly, I'm sick of it." He took an apple out of his ridiculously oversized coat that he always wore, even in the middle of summer, and took a bite. She idly wondered if he had a stash of stolen watches pinned to the inside.

After swallowing, Snape asked, "Do you want one? I promise they aren't garbage souvenirs." He indicated the apple in his hand.

"I don't want anything of yours," Petunia said sharply.

Snape raised an eyebrow, but did nothing except take another bite. "I hear you and Lily are getting along well," Snape's voice was neutral, neither sarcastic nor encouraging. "I'm sure the whole neighborhood has taken up stock in earmuffs."

Petunia's temper was very short, and she did not have the patience at the moment to deal with this stupid boy. "I hear you screwed up with Lily! That you aren't talking to each other and that she threatened to curse you until you were twice as hideous as you are now if you ever approached her again." Petunia felt a grim satisfaction as she saw what her words had accomplished. The smile on his face had been replaced with an ugly, hateful look. It made his whole air change from an almost cute, harmless kid down on his luck, to a dangerous street rat. He slid off of the rubbish bin, dropping the apple into his pocket, and walked right up to her. Snape was taller than she was now, and despite his scrawniness, he could probably hurt her if he wanted to. A slight fearfulness gripped Petunia, but she hid it well.

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it, Petunia?" he said quietly. Immediately incensed, she swung her fist at him. He caught it easily, his hand gripping her wrist right in front of his face.

"When you're trying to hit someone," Snape said carelessly, as though for all the world he had planned this, "don't put your thumb on top of your fist. You're likely to break it. Trust me, I know. Keep it to the front." He adjusted her thumb with his free hand.

"Also, don't punch at the person, aim for somewhere behind them, say about a foot." He took a small bottle with green liquid inside, uncorked it, and poured some of its contents over her hand. A slight tingling sensation spread through her fingers and across the back of her palm.

"Always stand balanced, or you could be easily knocked over." He pushed her away, and she stumbled and hit the wall behind her. She glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice. He just kept talking.

"And for God's sake, use all of your advantages. If your hands aren't free, kick people where it will hurt most." With that, Snape abruptly walked away from her, pulling the apple back out of his pocket.

"Make them talk, and make them angry. It keeps them from thinking straight," he called back at her before turning the corner and disappearing.

Petunia stared after him for a minute before hastily turning her attention to her hand. It had completely healed; there wasn't even a scab or a scar. She wanted to be mad at him. After all, he had humiliated her, pointing out every little thing she had done wrong. He _always_ did that; it was one of the things that made her hate him so much. Instead, she just felt emotionally drained. Realizing that it was almost lunchtime, Petunia sighed and turned back to her house. She still had another freak to face.

As her purse bumped against her side, she noticed that it seemed harder than it had been, and there was a slight bulge in it. She opened it up, and pulled out a shiny, red apple.


End file.
